


Flicker

by mydragulesebastian



Series: LIGHT IN THE DARK [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Sebastian Stan - Fandom, seb stan - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Mentions of alcohol, Romance, Slow Burn, implied depression, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-02-09 11:44:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12887154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydragulesebastian/pseuds/mydragulesebastian
Summary: After 2 years since Sebastian’s fiancé death, he finally found someone he could trust and be himself with but most importantly, he finally learned to love again. When a major secret is revealed, Sebastian feels hurt and betrayed. What will happen between you two? Does the flicker of hope that you first gave to him still ignite deep inside?{CONTINUATION OF IT’S YOU}





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> takes place right after the last part of It's You!

As soon as Sebastian got home he felt himself fall apart from the inside. He hated that he was comparing the pain to how he felt when he lost Dalila but he couldn’t help it. This hurt so much. It wasn’t like you weren’t lying to him on purpose. But he wondered if you were ever going to bring it up or keep it a secret forever.

He walked into his bedroom and looked at the picture on his bedside table. Scoffing, he walked over to it and opened the drawer in the bedside table, tossing it inside with the old picture of Dalila and her engagement ring.

Sebastian walked into his bathroom, flipped on the lights and stared at himself in the mirror. His face and eyes were red, cheeks splotchy. He felt himself well up again but he shut his eyes tight, keeping the tears from falling and creating new trails on his face. 

His cell phone buzzed in his pocket and at first he thought it was a text message but it kept buzzing anyway. He took it out and noticed that it was a call from his agent. He cleared his throat before answering and was all ears when his agent began to talk.

“Remember your audition for that action movie a while? You booked it, Sebastian!” She exclaimed. “But they want you in Atlanta by Friday. I know you just landed back in New York and you probably want to see your friends and family, especially your girlfriend, but they really want you there.”

“It’s fine. I haven’t even unpacked,” he replied. “I can make it out Friday.”

It was silent on the other line making Sebastian believe that the call had ended or had been cut off. But his agent cleared her throat softly and asked the dreaded question. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?” He answered a bit too fast.

“You sound…”

“I think I’m coming down with something,” he lied. “You know that airplane air isn’t the cleanest.”

His agent hummed but let it slide. She let him know that she would email him his flight information tomorrow morning and to get some much needed rest. After he hung up, he sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

He was going to drown himself in work. That’s what he was going to do. All he would have time for was work. He was back on the grind and he didn’t want to fall off. Starting Friday, Sebastian would be working harder than he had ever worked before and he was determined to get you out of his mind no matter how much it took.

* * *

You hopped out of the cab and quickly paid your fare before running to the place Sebastian took you to for late breakfast once. The door bell rang as soon as you walked in and you looked around for the familiar warm face.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” 

“Oh, my God,” you squeaked, losing feeling in your legs. “Winnie! I didn’t think I’d find you here this late!”

“I’m here 24/7, darling. Now tell me what’s wrong. You look a mess. Is everything okay? Is Sebastian alright?”

Your bottom lip quivered and Winnie sighed. She knew in her heart that Sebastian was fine but there was something else going on if you had to come in looking for her. She grabbed your arm softly, like a mother would, and walked you to a booth. She flagged down another waitress and held up two fingers and mouthed the word “coffee.” 

Winnie took a seat in front of you and held your hands that were set on top of the table. She searched for your eyes but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at her. She knew Dalila like Sebastian knew her and you weren’t sure if she would react the same way he did.

“Now will you tell me what’s wrong? I’m starting to get worried.”

“Sebastian. He-I-We… Winnie, I feel like such a bad person.”

“Well, what did you do?”

“Nothing!” You looked up at her with sad eyes. “I mean, I don’t think it’s anything bad. He just got really upset that I knew Dalila died. Well… I watched her die.”

Winnie gasped, “What do you mean you watched her die?”

Your eyes welled up again and you bottom lip quivered. You didn’t want to cry again but the pain in your chest wasn’t helping.  _This is what a broken heart feels like_ , you thought to yourself. You had been there before but this was different. It felt so real but also like you were in a dream.

You told Winnie the story and she listened very carefully, not judging you at all for not telling him. You told her that you knew Sebastian was barely starting to become himself again and you didn’t want to ruin that progress by telling him what you knew—or saw, in this case. It was completely selfish, you added but you didn’t want to hurt him again.

“But I ended up doing so by not saying anything.”

“Sebastian is a smart cookie. The second I met him he was holding this beautiful conversation with me and I thought, ‘I wished I was as half as smart as he was at that age.’ You weren’t going to fool him for very long, (Y/N). He was going to figure it out sooner than later.”

“I just don’t know what to do,” you exhaled, running a hand through your hair.

The waitress came over with two steaming hot mugs of coffee and dumped a handful of creamers onto the table. You and Winnie thanked her, watching her walk away and picking up the conversation.

“I wanted to explain to him but he said it wasn’t a good idea to do so and he just… left.”

“Have you tried calling him?”

“Winnie, he’s not going to answer me.”

Winnie hummed and grabbed a creamer, peeling back the seal and dumping the milk into her mug. She grabbed her spoon and slowly swirled the two together. You watched her and started to feel a bit relaxed. At least she was willing to listen.

“Maybe this isn’t the best advice I’ve ever given,” Winnie started. “But maybe you should give him some space. He’ll come around. I know it’s hard but one thing I have learned about Sebastian is that he’s very stubborn. Let him go off and do his thing. Let Sebastian think this through.”

You looked into your mug at the black coffee and bit down on your lip. Maybe WInnie was right. You’d have to let Sebastian sit in it for a while and let him go. He’d eventually come around. You at least hoped he would.

Winnie reached out and grabbed your hand again, squeezing it tightly. “The more you think about it, the worse you’ll feel. Find something you loved doing and do it a million times harder than before. Throw yourself in it and get lost. It’ll make you feel better.”

You nodded.

“I’m always here. You’re a beautiful person inside and out, I could see that the second Sebastian brought you in here. Fate will bring you back together, I know it.”


	2. II

“Earth to Sebastian!”

He was snapped out of his thoughts, looking up at his costar to find him with a confused look on his face.

“Dude, are you okay?”

Sebastian sighed, “Yeah. Just thinking.”

His costar snickered. “I think you need to go out with all of us tonight. You keep putting it off. I know you’re like, super dedicated to this, but come on! You need to loosen up a bit, Sebastian!”

* * *

 

“Brian, I don’t know.” Sebastian ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve got an early call tomorrow and I’m not as young as I used to be. I can’t stay out all night and be okay to run on 2 hours of sleep.”

“You don’t have to stay all night,” Brian said. “Just come and have a couple of drinks and then you can go to sleep, old man. You need it.”

Sebastian pursed his lips as he thought about it hard. Brian was right. He  _did_  need it. He had been in a funk ever since he left New York—ever since he left you. He thought that coming out to Atlanta and drowning himself in this new role would help him but it seemed like it wasn’t doing much if his costar could see that something was wrong.

There was a call for the actors to get back to their marks and Brian patted Sebastian’s shoulder before going back to the front door of the house set they had built and leaving Sebastian to prepare himself for when they decided to call action.

The day seemed to drag on longer than usual but as soon as they called wrap for the day, Brian and Sebastian were out of there. Sebastian let Brian know he’d see him at the bar before going their separate ways.

On the way back to the small studio they had rented out for Sebastian, he checked his phone. Deep down inside he hoped there would be a missed call, a text message or a voicemail from you but as each day passed he started to realize that maybe it wouldn’t happen.

* * *

 

Back in New York you were drowning yourself in work as well. You picked up hours at both the bar and hospital, sleep suddenly becoming a blurred line. You had to send your dog off with a friend for the moment because you didn’t have time to look after it; you didn’t even have time to look after yourself.

But you and Winnie had gotten close. Sometimes you’d show up at the diner late at night and have long talks with her usually to take your mind off of Sebastian. You were positive that Winnie was an angel sent from above.

“How are you feeling today?” Winnie asked with a small smile.

“Fine,” you sighed. “I washed dishes today.”

Winnie cracked a smile, “That’s a start.”

“I don’t know why I feel like this!” You dug your face into your hands, blowing out a long breath.

“Well, you haven’t had proper sleep in who knows how long, so that could explain why.” Winnie chuckled. “Have you had any days off?”

“No,” you grumbled. “If I don’t work my ass off and I stay at home I’ll be tempted to reach out to him.”

“And what’s wrong with that?”

“Winnie,” your voice cracked. “What am I going to say to him if he answers? ‘ _I’m sorry_ ’ won’t cut it. I think it’s better if I just drown myself in work and try to forget about it.”

“But don’t you love him?”

There it was. There was that tug you felt in your heart a couple of weeks ago at the hospital. It was the tug you felt every time you heard his name or saw his face plastered somewhere. He was making a comeback. There was no escaping him. And even though you had no idea where you two stood (though you were sure it wasn’t in good standing at all) your love for him grew each passing day.

* * *

 

Sebastian was on his fourth shot already, regretting it the second it didn’t burn his throat anymore.  _Bad habits never die_ , he thought to himself as he smiled at his costars.

Brian patted Sebastian’s back just like earlier that day and flagged down the bartender again for another round of shots. Sebastian politely declined but there was no escaping it when it was set right in front of his face.

The night became a bit blurry but one thing was for sure. Everything reminded Sebastian of you. From the way one woman smelled, to another woman’s hair color or another woman’s laugh. It was you. It would always be you.

“I-I gotta go home,” Sebastian slurred, his eyes closing for a second but then opening wide. 

“We can get you a ride home, Sebastian.” Brian told him, worried that his costar might need his stomach pumped.

“No.” He stopped a burp that wanted to escape his mouth. “No. I want to go back home—New York.”

“New York? Dude, we’re filming a movie right now. You can’t go back to New York.”

“I need to,” Sebastian licked his lips. His throat felt so dry but his eyes seemed to get wetter as every second passed. “I need to go home and see (Y/N).”

Brian looked at him solemnly. Sebastian had shared a couple of things about you. Mostly because he was asked if he had a girlfriend. It wasn’t like he was talking about you to everyone. But Brian knew what had happened and though he didn’t agree with Sebastian overreacting like so, he knew he couldn’t just send him off inebriated no matter how much Sebastian whined. And Brian was sure that no airline would take a drunk person.

“Look, we can talk about this tomorrow okay-” Brian placed one hand on each of Sebastian’s shoulders. “-You’ll be sober and I’m sure you’re going to thank me for not putting you on a plane.”

Instead, Brian called a cab service and stuck Sebastian in there after paying the fee for his friend. He pleaded the driver to take him straight to the address he gave him and not to the airport no matter how much Sebastian asked. 

When Sebastian got to the small studio he couldn’t open his door, his eyes tired and his hand to eye coordination gone to shit. He took his phone out of his back pocket and unlocked it, scrolling through his contacts until he found the person he wanted to call. 

He pressed their name and then the little phone icon, quickly (more like slowly) placing the phone next to his ear. He messed with the keys while it rang, the back of his head hitting the door with a small thud. He waited for what seemed like an eternity to him until the other line was picked up.

“Hello?”

“(Y/N)!” He exclaimed happily.

“Sebastian? What-Why are you calling me? Are you drunk right now?”

He hiccuped, “Slightly.” 

“Where are you?”

“Outside my studio. I can’t open the fucking door.” He grumbled.

You let out a very long sigh. Work was stressful and now here was Sebastian on the line, locked out of his studio because he was drunk as hell and there was no way you could go and help him. You knew he wasn’t in New York. Winnie had told you that he stopped by before he left to let her know he’d be gone for 3 months or so.

“I don’t know what you want me to do...” You said softly, bring your index finger up to your lip and biting the skin around your nail.

“Stay on the phone with me until I can get it open, yeah?”

“Sebastian, I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” He challenged.

“I’m working.”

“Oh...,” his voice trailed off. “You still watching people die on the table?”

You couldn’t lie that his comment stung a little. It came out harsh. You knew where it came from. He’d probably always throw that in your face. 

You bounced your leg up and down and bit down on your lip to stop yourself from saying something you’d most likely regret. So you ignored what he said and changed the subject.

“You can’t call anyone?”

“I can call Brian.” He balanced his phone between his ear and shoulder. “Should I call him?”

“Maybe.” You shrugged at no one in particular. “I don’t want you to stay out there all night alone.”

Sebastian stayed quiet on his end. Even after what he said that night, you still cared—or at least were really good at pretending to care. 

“I miss you,” he blurted.

You had to stop yourself from getting excited at hearing those three words. You shook your head and cleared your throat. “You’re drunk. You don’t mean that.”

“I do mean it. I wanted to go back to New York tonight and make things right with you, but Brian didn’t want me to go. Asshole.”

You placed your forehead into the palm of your hand and shook your head. “Brian was right in not letting you come home. Now will you please call him and see if he can help you out?”

“Okay,” Sebastian groaned. 

“Thank you,” you sighed. “I gotta go, they’re calling me. I’ll uh, talk to you later okay?”

Sebastian hummed and two beats passed before he said it. He was drunk but he knew what he was saying. He wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t feel it in him. 

“I love you, (Y/N).”

“Goodbye, Sebastian.”


	3. III

You set your phone face down and frowned slightly. Those three words kept playing in your head like a broken record. You felt torn. 

“Are you okay?” Your coworker, Rosie asked. “You look like you just saw a ghost.” 

You looked up at her and grinned, “I’m fine.” 

She raised an eyebrow at you while pursuing her lips. She didn’t believe you but decided she wouldn’t push it. “Okay,” she hummed. “Now, come on. We have a patient to attend and you’re the only one who’s good with kids.” 

* * *

Sebastian walked into set late with sunglasses covering his eyes and a strong black coffee in his hand. As soon as he rounded the corner of the bulk of trailers, he spotted Brian flirting with one of the film assistants. 

“Seb!” Brian yelled from his spot as soon as he looked up from the pretty girl’s eyes. 

Sebastian winced slightly. The volume of Brian’s voice was a little too loud for him at the moment. He watched the assistant turn to look at him and smile as he walked over. Sebastian couldn’t even muster up his own to send. 

“Brian,” Sebastian grumbled. 

“Oh man, you don’t sound too good… or  _look_  it either.” 

“I feel like shit!” Sebastian spat. 

The assistant’s eyes widened before excusing herself, leaving Brian and Sebastian alone. 

“Do you even remember what happened last night?” 

“No!” 

Brian chuckled. He had never seen Sebastian angry before and he had to admit that it was kind of funny since he was wearing sunglasses and holding a venti Starbucks cup. He looked like a complete diva. 

“Dude, I had to help you get into your place. You were a fucking mess. I should’ve taken a picture.” 

“Not funny, Brian.” 

“And you kept mentioning (Y/N)…” 

Sebastian squinted behind his sunglasses. “What?” 

“I swear—” Brian held up his hands “—Something about you talking with her? Did you call her last night by any chance?” 

Sebastian slid off his sunglasses and hung them off the collar of his shirt, instantly regretting it when he felt the sunlight hit his eyes. He was never drinking again. 

“Jesus fuck, Brian. I don’t know!” Sebastian patted his back pockets first with his empty hand and then the front ones, finally remembering that he had put his phone in his jacket pocket. He opened up his recent calls and he mumbled a string of curse words to himself as Brian watched him quietly. 

“Fuck!” Sebastian exclaimed, “Why did you let me get so fucked up?” 

“I’m not your parent, Sebastian!” Brian raised his voice as well. “How the fuck did I know you were even going to call her?”

“You know what—” Sebastian unhooked his sunglasses from the collar of his shirt and put them on again. “—I’m going to go get ready for the day.” 

“Fine.” Brian rolled his eyes. “Whatever, dude.”

* * *

You had pushed the door open so hard that it slammed against the wall and the customers in the diner jumped in their seats. You made eye contact with every single one of them before meekly apologizing. 

You looked over to where the waitresses left and picked up orders, spotting Winnie and flagging her down. She waved and held up her index finger to let you know that she’s see you as soon as she was done. You nodded and found a seat as far as you could. 

Your fingers drummed against the table as you waited for her, your nerves eating you up. You were trying to be patient but you needed to let it out and unfortunate for Winnie, she was the only one you felt comfortable talking to about your issues with Sebastian. 

“You almost gave my customers a heart attack!” Winnie slid into the seat across from your.

“Sorry!” You winced. “I didn’t mean to.”

“What’s going on?” She raised a brow.

“Sebastian called me in the middle of the night,” you started, watching her face light up. “But he was drunk.”

Winnie’s face fell slightly, her bottom lip coming captured by her teeth as her brows set into a furrow. “What did he say?”

“Stupid stuff… that he loved me…”

“How did that make you feel?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “I felt… indifferent. Like, yeah I wanted to hear him say it but not when he was drunk and not after he had just insulted me for what I do as a job.”

“What did he say about your job?”

“He was like, ‘You still watching people die on the table?’ As if that’s the only thing I do. I get that he’s hurt that I saw…” you looked away from Winnie and scrunched up your face to stop yourself from crying. “But he doesn’t need to come after me for it.”

“Are you going to call him back?”

You looked away again, thinking for what felt like the millionth time since the phone call. You had juggled between calling him and not calling him. Your mind was telling you one thing but your heart the other. 

“Maybe I should listen to my brain for once,” you swallowed hard. “And it’s telling me to not call him back.”

“You think that’s a good idea?”

“It’s better than calling him back, I can assure you that.”

* * *

Brian and Sebastian made up halfway throughout the day. Sebastian had a quick and fiery temper, sure, but he couldn’t hold grudges for long. By the time lunch came around Sebastian and Brian were acting as if they hadn’t just argued hours before.

“So… what exactly happened yesterday?” Sebastian asked, mouth full of food.

“Before or after?”

“I kind of remember all the shots I did… anything after that is kind of blurry.”

Brian chuckled, “Where do I even start?” 

Sebastian groaned and let his head fall back, closing his eyes and preparing himself to hear the worst of the worst. 

“You asked to go home–like, New York. You wanted to go back to New York. You were very adamant about it too. You said you wanted to go back and see (Y/N). But I put you in a cab and sent you back to your place only to get a call from you like an hour later, telling me that you couldn’t open your door. I got there and you were sitting on the floor with the keys in your hands. You looked a mess, Sebastian. Anyway, I helped you get in and you were still mentioning (Y/N). I had no idea you had called her until this morning though.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Are you going to call her back?” Brian asked, genuinely interested.

“I don’t know…”

“I think you should.” Brian shrugged. “If you care about her, you’d call her back to at least apologize for calling her in the middle of the night while drunk off your ass.”


	4. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is more a filler. and it’s boring af imo. 
> 
> text guide:   
> seb in bold  
> you in italics.

 

“Will you go away?” 

“Not until you call her,” Brian tossed a Skittle into his mouth. “I want to see you press the fucking phone icon, I want to hear it ring and I want to hear her either pick up or you leave a voicemail.”

Sebastian rubbed at his eyes. Brian was very stern when it came to business and Sebastian was getting hit with the end of the stick. He had been staring at his phone for what seemed like an eternity when it had only been 3 minutes. Your name was daunting. What the hell was he going to say? He didn’t even remember what he did. He hoped you wouldn’t answer.

He took in a deep breath through nose before pressing the phone icon on the screen, hearing the ringing a second later. He looked over at Brian who smugly smiled. 

_One ring… two rings… three rings…_

“Man, she’s not going to answer.”

_Click._

“Hello?”

Sebastian almost dropped his phone on the floor while Brian snickered from spot on the small trailer couch. Sebastian took the phone off speaker and pressed it to his ear, walking over to Brian and kicking his calf lightly. Brian held up his hands, not needing Sebastian to say anything to get him to leave.

“Sebastian are you there?”

“Y-Yeah! Just give me a second.”

Brian gave Sebastian two thumbs up as he walked down the small trailer steps. Sebastian rolled his eyes at his new friend and shut the door behind him, leaning against it and sighing.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes! I’m great. How are you?”

You giggled on your end of the line, making his stomach flip. He knew he missed you but he didn’t realize how much.

“I’m fine,” you replied.

Sebastian stayed silent. Brian hadn’t coached him in what to say. Should he just come out with it and apologize? Or should he make small talk? 

“I’m guessing you got into your place?”

Sebastian sighed in relief. Small talk it was. He could do that. Then he’d apologize. “Yeah, uh, Brian came and let me in. I don’t even remember calling him, but he said I did.”

You chuckled, “Sounds like a good guy.”

“He is,” Sebastian said while walking over to the small couch and plopping down on it. “Puts me in my place.”

“Good,” you replied. “Don’t let it get to your head, Hollywood.”

Sebastian grinned, “Never ever.”

Silence fell upon both of you once more. You weren’t sure why he was calling. The conversation felt weird—awkward, at most.

“Um… about last night…” Sebastian trailed off, biting his lip and closing an eye. “I’m sorry. You were probably asleep or working and I didn’t mean to call you. I was drunk as fuck and you know how the rest goes.”

You hummed and bit down on your own lip. Sebastian was actually apologizing and not being a stubborn asshole. 

“(Y/N),” Sebastian started. Your name coming out of his mouth sounded like a prayer. “Did I say anything during the phone call?”

“Nope,” you lied. “Nothing at all.”

Sebastian frowned. “Are you sure? You can tell me if I did.”

“You didn’t say anything out of the ordinary. Most of it was a mumbled, slurred mess.”

You didn’t want to fight with him or make it more awkward. Although you should have learned the last time that keeping things to yourself wasn’t a bright idea if Sebastian was involved.

“Oh. Well uh, I’ll let you go then. You’re probably busy.”

“Okay.”

“Bye.”

You hung up and groaned, throwing your head and hitting the wall behind you while Sebastian pushed himself off his own couch and stuck his phone into his pocket, walking out and finding Brian sitting on the steps.

“Dude! What are you still doing here?”

“I was waiting,” Brian turned to look up at Sebastian. He stood up and dusted his hands on his jeans, squinting at Sebastian slightly. “How’d it go?”

“It was weird.”

“Of course it was, buddy.”

Sebastian sent him a fake smile and Brian laughed at him again for the thousandth time. 

“Any new details? Did you tell her anything?”

“She said I didn’t say anything.”

“Wait. She’s lying.”

Sebastian shrugged. “Well, whatever I did say, it obviously wasn’t that important if she didn’t feel the need to bring it up.” Sebastian walked down the steps, Brian moving out of the way. “Or maybe she just didn’t feel comfortable telling me.”

Brian gave Sebastian a look and Sebastian tried to walk away from him but he didn’t let him. Although Brian liked to fuck around with Sebastian a lot, he knew that whatever happened between the two of you had to be fixed one way or another.

* * *

You kicked your shoes off as soon as you closed the door behind you. You had stood outside your front door during the whole phone call and then waited a couple of extra minutes, trying to gather yourself together.

Your phone suddenly buzzed in your hand, making you jump slightly. You were still shaky from only hearing his voice. Looking down at your screen, a message popped up. It was Sebastian.

> **(y/n) please. it’s bugging me. did i say anything at all during the phone call??? please be honest with me.**

You unlocked your phone and pressed the message icon, picking the unread thread and reading it over again.

“ _Just be honest_ ,” you told yourself.

> _you asked if i was still watching people die on the table._

As soon as your pressed send, a weight lifted off your shoulders. You spotted three dots at the bottom of the screen, waiting for the next message to come in Sebastian, on the other hand, winced at your message. Brian peered over his shoulder and hissed.

“Yikes!”

“Dude—” Sebastian pinched the bridge of his nose.

His phone vibrated again, the second message only making him feel worse.

> _then before you hung up you told me you loved me. which was weird bc you had just made me feel bad over having a job where i have no choice but to watch people pass._

He could feel the iciness from the message. Brian cleared his throat and Sebastian glared at him. His fingers hovered over the keyboard thinking of what to type

> _but it’s no big deal you were drunk_

“What does she mean it’s not a big deal,” Brian scoffed. “I would’ve drop kicked you for saying that shit.”

“Brian, if you don’t shut your mouth  _I’m_  going to be the one to drop kick you.”

Brian laughed loudly just to spite Sebastian. “Well, go on now. Apologize to her.  _Again_. And this time for a being a complete asshole.”

> **(y/n) i’m so sorry. fuck. i wish i could take it back. i didn’t mean what i said about your job. i know you don’t have a choice.**

> _sebastian what do you want me to say to you? do you want me to forgive you? you hurt my feelings, as childish as that may sound, and i’m still upset about it. i really don’t want to argue over text right now. and i gotta go to bed. i have a late shift tonight._

“Damn…” Brian brought his hand up to his mouth. “She let you down easy.”

“Brian!”

“I really like the way you say my name. Seriously, it just rolls off your tongue. You make it sound beautiful.” Brian joked and Sebastian rolled his eyes.

“Brian, I swear—“

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll drop kick me.” He stood up from the chair and stretched with an inward groan. “Ever think about therapy?” Brian walked away from Sebastian. “I think you need it.”


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a filler so it’s short AND boring imho. ANYWAY, let’s just get on with the show

You stretched and yawned loudly, your body slowly waking up. You finally had a day off ( _even though you fought your supervisor **and** manager about it)_ and it meant sleeping in-or so you thought. You slowly looked over at the digital alarm clock that sat on your bedside table and sighed. It was 7AM.

You drummed your fingers against your stomach, thinking about staying in bed all day long or actually getting out of the house and doing something. After mentally listing the pros and cons of both, you decided on spending half the day out and about and then coming home to rest.

Grabbing your phone from underneath your pillow you noticed you had notifications from your social media and some missed texts. But none of it was important enough to fawn over.

Getting out of bed, you walked over to the bathroom and took a quick shower. While you went through the clothes in your closet, you spotted a shirt that belonged to Sebastian. You removed it from the hanger and held it close, sniffing it slightly to catch whatever scent of him was left on it.

“Idiot,” you mumbled to yourself before balling the shirt up in your hands and tossing it onto the floor.

* * *

Back in Atlanta, Sebastian was barely waking up. His call wasn’t until 10AM so he got to sleep in. He made himself coffee and sat down to read yesterday’s newspaper before going through his phone.

He had missed emails from his agent about more potential roles and texts from his mom. He replied to his mom; it was a daily occurrence ever since he left New York without a single word.

There was a sudden knock on the door, causing him to drop his phone next to him on the couch. He got up with a groan and walked over, opening the door to find Brian with a cup of coffee in one hand and two small paper bags containing pastries in the other.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on set?” Sebastian questioned as Brian made his way into the studio.

“No.” Brian set the small bags down on the circular table. “Well, I  _was_ supposed to be _,_  but I got a call saying that they didn’t need me until later today.”

Sebastian hummed, watching Brian look around his place and purse his lips.

“How are you holding up?” Brian asked, finally turning to look Sebastian in the eye. Brian didn’t know Sebastian all that well, but he already cared for him like a best friend would. Sure, he liked to tease the shit out of him but it never came from a bad place. He was comfortable with Sebastian and he hoped that one day he’d catch a glimpse of the funny, charming guy everyone raved about.

“What are you talking about?” Sebastian rounded the corner of the couch and fell on it with a huff. “I’m fine.”

“You have a fucking pile weeks worth of dirty dishes in your sink, Sebastian. I don’t think you’re ‘ _fine_.’ Did you think about what I told you yesterday?”

“Did you come here to scold me?”

“No,” Brian retorted. “I came to bring you a blueberry muffin. Thought I would check up on you, too. Is that a problem?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes, letting his head fall back onto the couch. “Thanks for the muffin. You didn’t have to.”

“And let you starve? No way!” Brian threw the bag at Sebastian. He caught it without missing a beat, opening it and picking a piece of the muffin off the top. “But really, I want you to get help-this is coming from the heart, dude.”

“I know.” Sebastian crumpled the paper bag, tossing it onto the small coffee table. “And I will… after we finish filming.”

“Sebastian,” Brian let out a frustrated groan. “No! You need it  _now_. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a good mood since we started working together. You hole yourself up in here every day after you’ve finished your scenes and probably sleep the whole time. This isn’t good! Do you want me to go with you?”

“No!” Sebastian swallowed the last of the muffin. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he had a piece.

“Then?”

“I don’t know…” Sebastian shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”


	6. VI

You looked at yourself in the mirror while smoothing down the tight, black mini dress you decided to wear. You felt butterflies soar in your stomach at the thought of tonight. Somehow your coworkers had convinced you to go out with them and made sure that you looked extra hot—something about being newly single and “ _getting some after the last call._ ”

Your phone beeped on top of your dresser, notifying you that your Uber had arrived. You grabbed your clutch, phone, keys and denim jacket before heading out and jumping into the car. You texted one of your coworkers, letting them know you were on your way over. They replied with a string of emojis, the eggplant emoji not going unnoticed.

Upon arriving to the bar you felt shy, which you weren’t in social situations. Maybe it was the loss of somebody you truly loved that made you feel insecure when it shouldn’t have. It was supposed to make you walk with your head up high in the air but now you couldn’t help but look down at your feet.

After flashing your ID at the bouncer you walked into the buzzing, modern bar. You searched through the crowd and suddenly found your coworkers who were laughing and talking amongst each other over the music.

“(Y/N)!” One of them exclaimed at the sight of you. “Holy shit, you look hot as fuck!”

You turned hot at the comment. You hadn’t felt your best for a while and hearing someone compliment you made you feel a little bit better. You thanked them and they pulled you towards the two tall round tables. They introduced you to people you didn’t know and two beers later you were feeling like yourself again.

You were mingling with everyone, making jokes, laughing like there wasn’t a care in the world and the most important part of all, Sebastian didn’t cross your mind. You even flirted with one of the guys you met at the bar while waiting for your drink.

Last call sounded throughout the bar and everything around you was suddenly slowed down and a bit blurry. If you moved your head too fast the room started to spin. Everything was funnier than it was when you arrived. You felt happy.  

“How about you come home with me tonight?” A voice whispered in your ear, their lips brushing against your skin.

Goosebumps raised on your skin and you suddenly remembered when Sebastian would whisper in your ear late at night. He liked playing this game where you’d go out first and then he’d meet up with you as if he’d never met you before. You’d get him all riled up and vice versa, not lasting more than an hour before having to run back to either of your places to devour one another all night long.

You don’t remember what happened next but the next morning you woke up to your phone buzzing away. The massive headache consumed your entire being, opening your eyes becoming harder than usual.

You searched for your phone blindly and once your fingers grasped the edge of it you pulled it across the small table and hovered it over your face. You opened one of the text messages and furrowed your brows. There was a picture of you and the same guy from the bar. It wasn’t one your friends that took it, no. It was taken from afar with an expensive camera you were sure of.  

A link popped up underneath the picture, and you clicked it your screen jumping to the Safari app as it loaded a gossip site. You were a headline now.

##  _**sebastian stan’s girlfriend spotted with another man? details below from sources below!** _

“Oh no, no, no!” You sputtered as you kicked off the comforter and ran to the bathroom, throwing your phone onto the sink counter. You hovered over the toilet and emptied your stomach, crying over the fact that you were throwing up and now a headline.

You wanted to hide away. You even began to regret meeting Sebastian that fateful day.

* * *

Sebastian was having a better day. He woke up and wasn’t tired. His hair styled the right way, his shirt wasn’t wrinkled and his assistant had his coffee ready for him when he arrived on set. He considered that a big plus.

He ran through some lines and then did some scenes with his other costar, everything going smoothly. Hours passed and it was soon time for lunch break. He walked over to craft services and whistled to himself as the Atlanta sunshine cast a warm feeling over him.

As soon as he walked into where craft services was set up, everyone looked at him with wary eyes. He furrowed his brows and slyly ran a hand through his hair and then down his face. Maybe his hair was messed up or he had something on his face?

He grabbed some food and sat down at an empty table, taking his phone out of his jacket pocket and noticing the couple of messages that were pending on his lock screen. He opened a random message and clicked the link taking him to the same exact gossip site it took you. 

He laughed at the headline but as he scrolled down to the pictures, his face hardened. Some guy was wrapped around you, his front pressed against your back. His mouth was near your ear and you were smirking. Sebastian felt upset at the sight. He could admit to himself that he was jealous.

All those times you two went out with friends to bars and stood around like that suddenly came to mind. You were replacing him already and although he didn’t blame you, it still angered him.

“Dude,” Brian sat down next to Sebastian. “Your girl is moving on!”

Sebastian breathed in through his nose and let the air out through his mouth. “Really, Brian?”

“I’m just forwarding the message.” 

“She’s not my girl, anyway. How many times do I have to tell you this?” Sebastian set his phone face down.

Brian shrugged and took a bite out of his crisp, red apple. “But you still care for her don’t ya?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Brian, now is not the time.”

“I think you need to go back home.”

“Didn’t you tell me the other day that it would be a bad idea to do that?”

“I was wrong,” Brian hummed. “You obviously care for her and you don’t want to go get fucking help so maybe you do need to go and talk with her in  _person_. None of this texting and drunk phone calling shit, man.”

Sebastian propped his elbows up onto the table and put his chin in one of his hands. He pointed out the pros and cons to himself. Pros would include going home and sleeping in his own bed, seeing his mom and finally confronting the issue. Cons would include leaving the set and halting production as well as confronting you.

Sebastian sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He smacked his lips together and shook his head. “No. I’m not going back home.”


	7. VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im having a rough time with the next parts. this always fucking happens when i’m getting towards the end (and funnily enough i have the last 2 done and the epilogue). so updates will be a bit slower from here on out. :/

“You’re all over the Internet!”

“Do you have to be so fucking loud?”

“Your face is plastered everywhere; how could I not be loud (Y/N)?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose as you closed your eyes, blindly searching for your coffee mug. Your friend had decided to come over with greasy breakfast food and a lot of energy when all you wanted to do was hide away and never be seen again.

“But wait, I thought that you and Sebastian weren’t a thing anymore.” She furrowed her brows, frowning slightly.

“We’re not,” you sighed heavily, releasing the bridge of your nose and looking at her. “But the rest of the world doesn’t know that.”

She propped her elbows on the small table and huffed. “Have you talked to him?”

You laughed dryly, “Yeah.”

“And?”

“Nothing,” you shrugged. “I got nothing at all. I get that hiding away that kind of information was fucked up but come on! How could one be so stubborn?”

“What’s his zodiac sign again?”

“Shut up!”

“Do you want to put out a statement that you and {Y/N} aren’t together anymore?” Sebastian’s publicist asked.

He stopped in his tracks, turning on his heel and frowning. He didn’t care at the point. You had obviously moved on in those pictures he spent hours looking at. He hated the fact that he believed you would wait for him. How stupid could he have been?

“I really don’t care.” He shrugged. “Whatever you think is best.”

She nodded and quickly went off to type away on her phone. Sebastian sighed loudly as his thoughts took over. His head began to hurt just thinking about everything. He wanted to do right but wasn’t even sure where to begin. He knew he wasn’t a walk in the park to date. Shit, sometimes he couldn’t even stand himself. Sebastian was at war with himself and only himself.

“Hey, the director is looking for you.” One of his co-stars called out.

Sebastian nodded, picking his head up and thanking them quickly before making his way to the director’s trailer. He knocked on the door and waited a couple of seconds for an answer. Once he stepped inside, Sebastian smiled nervously. He wasn’t sure what he was in for and he sure as hell hoped it wasn’t the director telling him he was fired.

“What’s up?” Sebastian nodded. “Everything okay?”

“Everything’s actually perfect,” the director smiled up at him. “I just got wind of some gossip is all and I wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

Sebastian groaned inwardly. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Sebastian felt like a child all over again.

The director eyed Sebastian and cracked a grin. “You’re a great guy, I’m sure everyone tells you that. But you’ve got your demons you still need to put to rest and I hope you do it soon, Sebastian.”

You stayed home all day watching TV and napping halfway through movies. Your head was still pounding when you woke up and the sun was already gone, the night completely taking over the city. Sighing, you picked yourself up from the couch and made your way over to your room where you fell on top of the messy bed.

You sighed as the cool sheets enveloped you. Your phone vibrated somewhere underneath your pillows, your mind forgetting that you had left it there all day.

The light from the screen blinded you, quickly lowering the brightness and going back to your text messages. Mostly from friends but one from Sebastian. Your furrowed your brows, swallowing hard and then opening the thread.

Hey.

You’re probably busy but I need to talk to you. Please.

(Y/N). Whenever you see this please give me a call.

You groaned and rolled your eyes, clicking on his name and hitting the button with the picture of the phone. You wondered if you would ever be able to fix this. How someone you loved and adored so much could cause you so much pain, you weren’t sure. Why you stuck around and waited for him to come back was another question.

“You’re so stupid for calling him,” you told yourself before holding the phone up to your ear. You waited a couple of rings before you heard the line get picked up.

“(Y/N),” Sebastian breathed and you were positive that your name had never sounded anymore beautiful.

“You needed to talk?”

You heard him sigh on the end of the line a bit of shuffling. You assumed he was getting ready to go to bed. “I-uh, I saw the pictures from last night…”

If you head didn’t hurt so much you would have facepalmed yourself. “Oh, God. Really, Sebastian?”

“What?”

“This is what you needed to talk to me about? If you really cared you would’ve done something about this; you would’ve done something about us already.” You shut your eyes and let out a heavy breath.

“(Y/N), I… no, I mean, yes it is, but I’m just… fuck, I don’t even know.”

You stayed silent and so did he. The only noise being both of your breaths intertwining through the phone. Sebastian didn’t know what to say. And if you opened your mouth again you knew that there would be no coming back from the hurtful words you’d say to him.

“I didn’t go home with him if that’s what you wanted to know,” you snapped.

“That wasn't—” Sebastian cleared his throat, a blush rising to his cheeks.

“Yes, it was. Actually, let me be very honest with you right now.” You took in a deep breath. “I couldn’t stop thinking of you that entire night. Do you know-do you even know what that feels like, Sebastian? Do you? It fucking hurts. It hurts because every time I looked around I was hoping to see you and I didn’t. That guy in those pictures? God, I wished that was you so bad; maybe it was the alcohol that made me believe that I wanted you instead of him but either way, all I want is you and it makes me so angry.”

Sebastian gulped and closed his eyes. He had to make it right. He had to go back to New York soon and talk to you. He had to.

“I gotta go,” you sniffled and Sebastian wondered if you were crying.

“(Y/N), I’m going to make this right. I promise.”

You let out a dry laugh, “How often do you tell yourself that to make yourself feel better?”

Sebastian’s mouth opened but nothing came out. You had a point. How many times had he told himself he was going to go back to make it right and only made excuses? Why did he willfully ignore advice from Brian and other friends?

Sebastian snapped out his thoughts when he heard the line click, his phone going back to his lock screen. He threw the phone across the bed and ran a hand through his hair.

Something had to give soon.


	8. VIII

Sebastian stretched as the hot Atlanta sun beat down on him, sweat dripping down his forehead. His assistant came plowing towards him, her arms full with his water bottle, a protein bar, and a towel. He thanked her lowly, grabbing the things out of her arms using the towel first to wipe down the sweat. After drinking all of the water, he stuffed the protein bar in his mouth to succumb the hunger growing in his stomach.

“Sebastian!” Brian yelled from across the set. He waved at the brunet and Sebastian nodded his head. “Hey, so the guys and I were talking about going out tonight to this hole-in-the-wall bar. What do you say?”

* * *

 

Sebastian chuckled, “After last time’s incident I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Oh, dude!” Brian cried. “I’ll watch your back; I’ll make sure that you don’t obliterate yourself with tequila shots and if it somehow ends up happening I’ll make absolutely sure that you don’t pick up your phone at all.”

“Sounds tempting, man.”

“Well—,” Brian took a step back, pointing his index finger at Sebastian. “—Just think about it then.”

“I will.” Sebastian waved him off before watching his disappear with his own assistant.

“Sebastian!” He heard the director call. He handed his assistant the towel and water bottle, leaving her alone to talk to the director. “Got a second?”

“Sure,” he gulped, sticking his hands in his back pockets. “What’s up?”

“Everything okay?” The director bluntly asked, throwing an arm around Sebastian’s shoulders. 

He narrowed his eyes at the director, chuckling lowly. “Y-Yeah, everything’s great.”

“You sure?” Silence encompassed both of them for a minute before the director cleared his throat. “Because your work seems to be...” he pursed his lips, trying to find the right words to say but he needed to be honest with Sebastian. “You seem to not be doing as great as when we first started. Your energy is low, you keep forgetting lines-which is very unlike you.”

Sebastian ran a hand through his hair, letting out a deep breath. “I’m fine. I really am.”

The director narrowed his eyes at him, finally deciding to let it go. He gave Sebastian’s shoulder one last squeeze before walking away only to let him know he had 5 minutes before they picked up the scene again. Sebastian gave him a thumb’s up before turning on his heel to find his assistant again. 

* * *

 

Another day in New York meant another day of work. Ever since Sebastian’s phone call you were trying to get him out of your head and out of your life. For good, you weren’t exactly sure but if it ended up that way, then so be it.

Your friends and coworkers tried to coax you out of your house, but you had realized that paparazzi had begun to follow you ever since that night. You weren’t the famous one yet you still had to deal with the negative side of it all. You deleted social media from the amount of hate you also began to receive. 

It was all so overwhelming. Was Sebastian even worth it?

“Hey, (Y/N).” Rosie scooted up next to you as you worked on some paperwork. You hummed in response as your eyes and hands worked. “The girls and I were thinking of going to happy hour after our shift. Want to come?”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled. 

“No one’s going to follow you or take pictures of you,” Rosie assured. “I’ll beat them up.”

You laughed lightly. “Rosie, it’s okay. I’m kind of a bummer right now anyway. You all go and have fun.”

“Shut up. You are not a bummer. We love having you around. It’s not the same if you don’t go.”

You flipped through a bunch of papers and Rosie waited for your answer patiently. When you realized she wasn’t going to leave until you said yes, you sighed heavily and finally looked at her. She held a hopeful smile on her face and you just rolled your eyes.

“Is that a yes?” She jumped in her seat. “That’s a yes, right?”

You chuckled. “Yes. Yes, I’ll go with you all. But only for a little bit, okay?”

* * *

 

Sebastian got through the rest of filming with little to no errors. He was trying his best to not let his personal life interfere with his professional one. The director patted him on the back as soon as he wrapped the day. Sebastian caught up with his assistant, his phone put in his right hand. No missed calls or texts only emails from his publicist and manager. He frowned to himself not sure what he was expecting. 

“Need anything else from me, Mr. Stan?”

“I told you to call me Sebastian,” he gave the young woman a look. 

“Sorry,” she smiled sheepishly.

“You’re free to go. Thanks.” He winked at her before disappearing into his trailer. He heard a distant “see you tomorrow” as he crashed onto the couch. He ran a hand through his hair letting out a deep sigh. 

“Seb!” Brian’s voice echoed through the trailer. He walked in and raised a brow. “You okay?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

“Because you look like shit,” Brian shrugged. “And we care about you, dude.”

“Well, I’m fine. So can you go around and subtly let everyone know that?”

Brian laughed. “Nope.”

“What do you want?”

“Are you coming out with us tonight?”

Sebastian looked up at him and thought to himself for about 5 seconds before shrugging. “Fine. I’ll go.”

“Sweet!” Brian fist-pumped. “I’ll meet you at your place, yeah?”

Sebastian nodded and watched him walk out of the trailer. He gathered all of his things before walking out and getting a ride to his bungalow that was rented out for him to get ready for the night out.

Brian showed up at around 9PM ready to go. They were just about to leave when Sebastian’s phone began to ring in his back pocket. He furrowed his brows as he wondered who would even be calling him since he had called his mom when he got back to his place and texted his friends.

The number was unknown which made him anxious and he debated answering it. Brian nudged his side and Sebastian hesitantly answered the phone call.

“Hello?”

“Is this Sebastian Stan?”

“Yes; may I ask who’s speaking?” His heart was beating fast and his palms sweaty.

“Hi, this is Emily from Mt. Sinai...”


	9. IX

“Hello?” 

“Is this (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?”

“This is she.” You sat up in bed half awake and trying to figure out what was going on. You had gotten home about an hour ago from happy hour with your coworkers and had fallen asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow. 

“Hi, this is Emily from Mt. Sinai calling to let you know that we have Winifred Davis at our hospital.”

You let out a gasp, throwing your legs over your bed and rushing around the dark room to find clothes to throw on, not caring if you were matching or not. 

“Is she okay? Wha-What happened?”

“She’s in stable condition. We do need you to come in and fill out some paperwork. It seems as though she doesn’t have any family listed and you and someone by the name of Sebastian Stan were the only ones we found in her address book.” 

“Oh my God,” your voice cracked. “I’ll be there as soon as possible.” 

You hung up and grabbed your purse, throwing your hair up in a messy bun and running out the door into the dark streets. You managed to catch a cab in a matter of minutes.

After telling the driver where to take you to the hospital, horrible thoughts began to fill your mind as you made your way over. You wondered if they had called Sebastian, too. You swore you were going to pass out in the backseat of the cab before you even got there. But you were soon right out front of the hospital the white bright lights from inside ever so uninviting.

You paid your fee and rushed inside, looking for a desk to ask for more information. You jogged over to it slamming your hands on it by accident, scaring the receptionist. 

“May I help you?” She grinned tightly. 

“Yes,” you replied, quickly noting that you were out of breath. “I just received a call from Emily stating that Winifred Davis is currently being held here.”

“Oh!” She began to type away on the keyboard in front of her. “Yes! You and Sebastian Stan were the only people they found in her address book.” She frowned.

You nodded sadly and she quickly ripped a blank sticker badge and wrote your name on it after verifying your ID. She let you know what floor she was on but also told you that you had to fill out paperwork before you got to see her. 

After making your way to the floor and filling out as much information as possible ( _thanks to your newfound friendship_ ) they let you see her. As soon as you were about to walk into it you bumped into the doctor as he was walking out. 

“Hi,” you stopped him. “I-I… I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N). One of Winnie’s contacts. What happened? Is she okay? I haven’t been told anything.” 

The doctor stuck his hand out for you to shake. “I’m glad you were able to make it,” he smiled. “I’m Dr. Reynolds. Winnie suffered a heart attack.”

You let out a small gasp. 

“Luckily, she was able to detect it and call 911. We have her under stable condition right now. We’re monitoring her very closely just in case she has another one.”

“Oh my God…”

“She’s going to be okay, (Y/N).” He placed a hand on your shoulder. “You’re more than welcome to step into the room and stay as long as you’d like.” 

You nodded, Dr. Reynolds quickly walking away and leaving you to walk into the room. Winnie was asleep and the lights dimmed. The small television was on low but it was on her favorite TV show. 

You pulled up a chair next to her bed and sighed heavily. Reaching out to grab her hand, you held back the tears that threatened to escape. Instead, you cast your eyes on the TV above you and hoped that the doctor was right; that Winnie would be okay. 

* * *

“What do you mean all tickets from Atlanta to New York are booked?” Sebastian fumed.

Brian’s eyes widened, quickly taking the phone away from his best friend and talking to the airline employee. Sebastian paced in the bungalow while pinching the bridge of his nose as he listened to Brian ask what the earliest flight they had available. 

The first thing Sebastian thought when he found out the call was from the hospital was that something had happened to you. But this was worse. Winnie had landed in the hospital and he had no idea why. And it wasn’t like he could jump in a car and make it in 20 minutes. 

“Sebastian,” Brian called out snapping him out of his thoughts. “The earliest is 6AM.” 

Sebastian looked at his watch and read the time to himself. It was only 8 hours away. He nodded at the blond man, trying to calm himself. He was shaking out of nerves. 

After Brian hung up the phone he watched Sebastian worriedly. Sebastian had mentioned her before but he didn’t know how much she actually meant to him until now. 

“Dude I’m sure they already got into contact with (Y/N).”

“That’s not the point!” Sebastian stopped in his tracks, his back facing Brian. “It’s the fact that I’m not close enough to drop everything and go see what the fuck is going on. I can’t…” His voice broke in two. “I can’t lose Winnie, Brian. I can’t.” 

“You’re not going to. She’s going to be fine if she isn’t already. Everything’s under control, Sebastian. That’s why they’re professionals and not fakes like us.”

Sebastian could not sleep at all. He was ready by 3AM and in an Uber at 4. Much to his surprise, Brian was tagging along with him. Sebastian silently thanked him for coming with. He didn’t know what would’ve happened if he had gone to New York by himself. He needed Brian at his side much to his dismay. In 2 hours they landed in New York, Sebastian and Brian hurrying off the plane and out of the terminal to hop into a cab to take them to the hospital.

Sebastian walked in with his cap down low on his face and Brian running up next to him. He walked up to the desk and asked for Winnie, the young girl recognizing him quickly but not mentioning it. She gave him the floor and room number after she handed both men a badge. They raced to the elevator, Sebastian pushing the buttons hurriedly. 

The ride up to the floor seemed to take an eternity. When the doors finally opened he rushed out and took three longs strides to the small desk where a man in light blue scrubs sat at.

“Hi, I’m looking for Winifred Davis,” Sebastian asked. Brian peered over his friend’s shoulder as the man ran his finger down a list and stopped midway down. 

“Yes, she’s in room 410. Just down the hall to your right.”

“Thank you.”

Sebastian pushed himself off the desk and made a beeline straight to the room. But when he got closer his heart thumped harder in his chest. It was you. You were standing outside the room, one foot against the wall as you placed your phone into your back pocket. Sebastian came to a halt and Brian raised a brow at his friend who was staring way too intensely.

“(Y/N)?”

You looked up and felt your mouth fall open slightly. Sebastian was here along with a friend of his and you weren’t exactly sure why it felt like a cruel joke was being played.

“Ah,” Brian hummed. “So  _you’re_  the famous (Y/N),” Brian smirked.

“Alright,” Sebastian drawled out, putting a hand on his shoulder to push him away. “Think you could leave us alone for a couple of minutes?”

Brian sighed dramatically, “I guess so.”

You bit down on your lip to hold back a laugh. Brian was way more animated than Sebastian and you found it absolutely endearing. He winked at both of you before disappearing down the hall and finally leave you and Sebastian alone.

_Nothing._

Nothing came out of either of you. The circumstances of you two seeing each other weren’t the greatest. Winnie was in the hospital and it definitely wasn’t the time and place to talk about whatever was going on between the both of you.

“What happened?” Sebastian ran a hand through his hair.

“She had a heart attack.” You wrapped your arms around your torso. “She’s okay now but they want to keep her here for a couple days.”

Sebastian peered through the open door and noticed Winnie lying still in the bed. She was like his second mother. He loved Winnie so much, he didn’t know what he was going to do without her.

“She doesn’t have any family, Sebastian. It’s just us.”

He pressed his lips into a tight line, furrowing his brows in the process. “Can I go in and see her?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “Of course you can.”

Sebastian walked into the room slowly, grabbing a chair from the front of the room and pulling it over to the side of her bed. He took a seat and reached out to grab Winnie’s hand. He felt her move her fingers slightly and watched her try to open her eyes but he cooed softly, letting her know that it was okay.

You watched from the door, arms still hugging your torso as you looked at Winnie and Sebastian. You could see and feel the love that he had for her and it made you sad that Winnie had ended up here.

“(Y/N),” a voice croaked. Your eyes widened and Sebastian looked over at you. “Come here.”

Winnie was asking for you while simultaneously patting the bed. You slowly walked over to the other side of her bed and knelt down beside her, taking her other free hand in yours.

“Winnie,” your voice cracked. “We’re here—Me and Sebastian are here.”

She didn’t say anything but a tiny grin grew on her face. You wondered if Sebastian noticed. Winnie breathed in and out, slowly falling back to sleep.

You and Sebastian stayed there for about an hour, holding her hand and keeping her company. There was a knock on the door and you spotted the person first since you were facing the door. It was Brian with a bouquet of flowers, a teddy bear, and balloons. He raised his brows with a charming smile as he tiptoed in with his gifts. You nodded and Sebastian’s eyes widened at the sight.

“Brian, you didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.” He shrugged. “Besides, it seems like you care a lot about her. It’s only right to get her something.”

“You got her the whole gift shop.”

“Your point?”

Sebastian shrugged and you swallowed loudly. You could tell he was getting stressed out. So you did the next best thing you could think of; you got up and dusted yourself off, looked at Brian and asked him if he wanted to go get something to eat with you.

“Can I? Can I go and get food with your girlfriend?” Brian checked with Sebastian.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Oh-kay!” Brian clicked his tongue. “Come on, Miss. (Y/N). Let me show you how a real man treats a beautiful lady.”

“Brian,” Sebastian groaned.

“See later, Stan!”

You and Brian walked out of the room and down the corridor to the elevator. You had seen Brian before in a romantic comedy and he was pretty cute, but not your type.

“So, Seb huh? He’s pretty fucking grumpy. Like Harrison Ford grumpy.”

The corner of your lips turned up as you tried to hold back a snort. “Yeah…”

“Has he always been like that?”

“No,” you replied, the doors opening at the same time.

You two walked into the small lift and you leaned against the mirrored wall crossing your arms over your chest. Brian ran his finger down the directory trying to find the cafe and when he did, he let out a small noise and pressed the round plastic button. He leaned against the wall, too, his eyes taking you in twice before raising a brow.

“What?” You frowned, feeling a bit self-conscious.

“Sebastian is so stupid.”

“Huh?”

“Look at you! You’re the woman of every man’s dreams! Well, not exactly  _my_  dream but  _definitely_  Seb’s.”

“I think you just offended me.”

“No?” Brian raised a brow. “But that’s not the point. I don’t understand why he’s letting you slip through his fingers. He’s told me bits and pieces of what happened, but he’s being ridiculous now. If Winnie having a heart attack and bringing you together wasn’t a sign then I don’t know what is.”

You looked down at your shoes and swallowed hard. What were you going to say to him? Brian had a point. It  _was_  getting ridiculous now.

“Have you seen that Friends episode where Ross’s ex-wife is having a baby, but Ross and his ex-wife’s wife can’t stop arguing so Phoebe locks them in a closet so they can work it out?”

“Brian, don’t you dare!” You pointed a finger at him.

He laughed, holding his hands up. “I was just saying!”

The elevator doors dinged, opening up and bringing you to the cafe. Brian let you out first and then followed you to where the food was. You picked up a sad looking sandwich along with a fruit cup and a bottle of water. Brian grabbed a bag of chips and a soda. You two sat down in one of the tiny booths and began to eat in silence.

* * *

Winnie stirred in the bed, Sebastian gasping lightly. He watched her face intently as her fingers moved against the palm his hand. Then, one eye opened and soon after the other one.

“Sebastian,” Winnie breathed out as her heart monitor began to beep quickly.

“Hey,” he replied softly, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” She asked.

“She’s with my friend getting food,” he replied.

She groaned slightly and Sebastian felt his heart beat hard in his chest.  _Please don’t take her away from me_ , he thought to himself.

“Aren’t you supposed to be filming a movie?”

Sebastian chuckled. “I was. But I got a very vague call from the hospital and I dropped everything and came straight to New York. Winnie, what’s going on?”

“Oh, honey.” She cooed. “I’m getting old. Some of these things I can’t stop from happening. There’s been a history of it in my family. My mom died at a really young age from a heart attack.”

“I was so afraid,” he admitted. “That I wasn’t going to make it in time. Life is so short…”

“Yes, Sebastian,” Winnie breathed. “Life is very short.”

Sebastian looked up at her and when his eyes connected with hers, he knew what she was trying to get across to him. He had to get over it sooner than later. He loved you. He loved you more than he could possibly imagine and it scared him. It frightened him to death that he could love someone so much after losing Dalila—the person he thought he loved the most.

There was a light knock on the heavy door before it creaked open. Sebastian and Winnie looked over at it, Winnie slightly confused and Sebastian grinning.

“Hey, is it okay if I come in?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian nodded before turning to look at Winnie. “Winnie this is Brian, my friend.”

“Hi,” Brian smiled, sticking his hands in his pockets. Sebastian looked at his friend but didn’t see you following him. Brian noticed the confused look strewn across his face and clicked his tongue.

“(Y/N) went home. She said she’d be back later. Something about letting you spending time with Winnie.”

“You let her go?”

Brian pursed his lips and looked up at the ceiling while closing one eye. “I should be asking you that.”

“Brian!”

“Again with the name thing. I’m really getting used to it. I’m going to miss it so much when we go our separate ways.”

Sebastian let go of Winnie’s hand and stood up from the chair. “How long ago did she walk out?”

“5 minutes or so?”

Sebastian looked back at Winnie who was already giving him an approving smile. He looked at Brian who shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Dude, if you keep fucking around,” Brian paused and looked at Winnie with a grimace, “Excuse my language, ma’am. I will kick your ass into the next century. Now, will you go after her and make things right already?”


	10. X

Sebastian ran out of the hospital, holding his breath as he came out and looked both ways. Something in his heart told him to go right. His feet and legs started to move before his mind could. He looked up at the sky and watched dark clouds gather together.

“Shit, shit, shit!” He said to himself, pushing through the crowds of people that were starting to gather.

His eyes scanned the streets. Maybe you had crossed over or you were trying to hail a cab. He hadn’t the slightest clue. He needed to get to you before it was too late. He knew what it was like to lose someone he cared so much for and he didn’t want it to happen again.

Finally, his eyes landed on you. You were waiting to cross the street with a group of people. The rain had started to slightly fall, people looking up at the sky as if they hadn’t ever felt rain before in their lives.

“(Y/N)!” He screamed from a couple of feet away. “Wait!”

You turned your head to see where the voice was coming from; your eyes widened, shoulders relaxing and heart fluttering at the sight of Sebastian making his way over to you. When he was finally in front of you, his grey eyes searched yours. For what, you weren’t sure of but he was looking for something.

“What are you...Who’s with Winnie?”

“Brian,” he said simply.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” You asked, worried that he was about to faint from the way he held his breath.

“No, I’m not okay,” Sebastian replied. Being honest felt so good.

“What’s wrong?” You walked closer to him. You wanted to reach out and grab him but you didn’t know if he would let you.

Sebastian furrowed his brows and licked his lips. How was he going to word everything that was coming to mind? Time was running and he needed to say something—say anything.

The clouds above him opened up slightly and more rain started to fall. You pursed your lips as you waited for him. But he just reached out and grabbed your hands with his, his thumbs rubbing your knuckles gently.

“(Y/N), I can’t not have you in my life. I’ve tried. I’ve tried so hard to forget you and everything we’ve shared but I can’t.” Sebastian’s bottom lip quivered. “I love you more than you could possibly imagine. You fill my every being. You are the person I see my future with. I can’t let you slip away. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being such an asshole. I was wrong. I’m trying to get better.”

The rain poured down harder, making it feel like a movie.  _How ironic._

“I understand if you won’t forgive me. I get it. I wouldn’t forgive me either. But I want you to know that I want to make this right.”

You bit down on your lip, watching a droplet of water fall down his cheek and make it’s way to the corner of his mouth. His eyelashes were soaking wet, water falling off of them every time he blinked. The tip of his nose was red from the cold air that was whistling around both of you and his hair had flattened against his forehead. Here he was so broken and still trying to pick himself up. 

“We’d need to start all over!” You shouted over the sound of the rain and cars racing down the street.

His eyes glimmered with hope. “Really?”

You nodded. “I want to make this right, too, Sebastian. I miss you. I want to see you get better. I want to be there with you through it.”

He couldn’t hold back anymore. He let go of your hands and grabbed your face, placing a longing kiss on your lips. You weren’t sure if you were crying or not and he didn’t either. But you two did sure feel a flicker lighting inside as you reconnected again. There wasn’t enough of him or enough of you to hold onto.

“I don’t ever want to lose you,” Sebastian mumbled against your lips, his eyes still closed. “I was such an asshole. God, I’ll never stop apologizing for it. Baby, I’m so sorry.”

“You are an asshole,” you agreed with a small chuckle.

“I‘m sorry,” his voice was barely a whisper. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“I forgive you,” you replied, pulling back to see him open his eyes. They weren’t a sad grey anymore, they were a nice light blue just like you remembered. “But things won’t be the same, I need you to understand that.”

“That’s fine. I understand.” He nodded.

“I love you.” You blinked, a small grin growing on your face.

Sebastian bit his bottom lip to stop himself from beaming but he couldn’t. He loved you so much that there was no way he couldn’t smile from ear to ear.

“I love you, too.” He sighed. “God, I fucking love you.”


	11. EPILOGUE

##  **—6 MONTHS LATER**

The phone annoyingly vibrated on the wooden bedside table eliciting a groan from you and a sigh from Sebastian. He had been awake for 30 minutes or so watching you sleep peacefully wondering how you even gave him a second chance.

He had been in therapy for a couple of months now and it was working. Every day you began to see a happier version of him. The one you got to know before he was suddenly ripped away. But he still had troubles; nothing could be fixed from one day to the next but you both worked through it. If he needed space, you would give it to him and vice versa.

Communication was key.

Sebastian answered the phone, a video call coming through. He smiled from ear to ear as Winnie came on the screen. She had finally retired from the diner and Sebastian gifted her with an iPhone that she really didn’t like or understand but still kept much to you and Sebastian's pleading. You also decided to give Winnie your dog to keep her company.

“You’re up late,” Sebastian noted.

She hummed cheerfully, “And you’re up early.”

He laughed as he ran a hand down his tired face. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“You’re getting to that age,” Winnie teased with a wink. “I’m assuming that (Y/N) is still out like a light.”

“Yeah,” he replied, blue eyes averting to your sleeping face. “We had a long night.”

“Is that so?” She raised her brows with a smirk playing on her face.

Sebastian shook her head with a blush. “No, no, no. Not like that.”

Sebastian had brought you out to Germany for a week since he was filming a new movie. You had been spending a lot of quality time together; eating, going sightseeing and a lot of getting to know each other all over again.

You stirred in bed and he stilled, Winnie, telling the dog to stop barking at the bird that landed on the windowsill. You groaned before opening one eye and finding Sebastian wide awake with his phone in front of his face.

“Who is it?” You asked, your voice hoarse.

“Good morning, sunshine!” Winnie’s voice echoed out of the phone.

“Winnie!” You moved Sebastian’s wrist so you could look into the phone. “Oh, God I look like a hot mess.” You laughed softly as you fixed your hair.

Sebastian moved the phone back to his face as he rolled his eyes. “How are you doing though? How’s everything in the city that never sleeps.”

“Gross,” you rested your chin on his bare shoulder, your face barely in line with the camera. “Just say, New York.”

Winnie laughed at both of you. “Everything is good. I like being retired. I don’t have much to do.” She shrugged.

The three of you talked more about random things, mostly about what Sebastian was filming and the places you had seen while in Germany. Winnie let you two go, loud “ _I love you’s_ ” shouted into the phone before hanging up.

You stayed in bed cuddling, Sebastian tracing shapes on your arm with the tip of his index finger. You hummed in delight, the warmth of his body always inviting and a reminder of home.

“Remember what I asked you yesterday...” he spoke softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded against his hard chest. “Yeah... but we were both drunk... and...”

“But I meant it.”

Sebastian stopped tracing figures on your arm and a breath caught in your throat. He stopped breathing, too as he waited to see if your answer had changed.

“You really want me to move in with you?” You looked up at him with worried eyes. Sebastian nodded and you bit your bottom lip. “Sebastian, that’s... a big deal...”

“I get it if you want to say no,” he stated with a curt nod. “I just... I thought I would ask. Again.”

“Yes.”

“Huh?”

“Yes,” you grinned. “Yes, I’ll move in with you.”

Sebastian’s eyes lit up flipping you and hovering over your body as he held himself up with his arms placed next to your head. You squealed, hiding your face into your shoulder.

“Really? You’ll move in with me?” He beamed, his eyes sparkling.

You looked up at him, wrapping your hand at the nape of his neck and playing with the short hairs. “I will,” you giggled.

“Oh, fucking hell!” He scrunched his face before leaning down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss. “You’re not joking, right?”

“No!” You pulled on his ear jokingly, his shoulders coming up with a shrug. “Now, will you shut up and just kiss me again?”

“I love you,” he smiled, feeling his heart burst when you smiled up at him.

This is what love felt like. It was carefree, honest, and fun. Love ignited a fire and you were the starter in his heart. Sebastian never imagined he would ever find someone again; he never believed he would be given a second chance to make it right with you. But life is funny sometimes. It throws you in different directions to show you how much someone actually means to you and he had to learn the hard way.

“I love you,” he repeated.

“You said that already.” You replied softly with a grin.

“I know,” he simply replied. “But I won’t ever get tired of saying it. I hope you don’t mind.”

The corner of your lips turned up slightly. “You’re a dork.”

“But you love me, right?”

You scrunched your face. “Yes. I do. I love you. Even with all of your terrible qualities, which aren’t many, but you have them,” you teased. “I love you with all of my heart, Sebastian.”

And for the first time in a long time, Sebastian felt whole once again.


End file.
